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The Vibe: Because the only thing getting roasted in this kitchen is the chicken—not your body. This is for the woman who realized her "weight problem" was actually just 180 lbs of toxic ex-boyfriend.
Description: They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but you’re a little busy reclaiming your peace of mind to care about his dinner. If your ex spent more time checking his own ego than checking your calorie count, this apron is your new uniform.
It’s designed for the chef who’s done biting her tongue and is ready to start biting back. Whether you're whipping up a feast for one or hosting a "He’s Finally Gone" party, this apron protects your clothes from grease and your life from unsolicited opinions. It’s durable, it’s bold, and unlike your past relationship, it actually knows how to handle the heat without becoming toxic.
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The Design: "CALL ME FAT AGAIN AND I'LL EAT YOU" emblazoned across the chest in high-def, "don't-test-me" typography. It features our signature red underline—because some boundaries should be drawn in permanent ink.
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The Fit: Adjustable neck strap, because the only thing you’re tightening these days is your circle of friends.
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The Fabric: Thick, spill-proof canvas. It’s great for warding off pasta sauce, wine splashes, and any lingering feelings of self-doubt.
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Storage: Two deep pockets—one for your cooking utensils, and one for the phone you use to ignore his "I’ve changed" texts.
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Warning: Wearing this may result in perfectly seasoned food and a complete inability to care about what a mediocre man thinks of your waistline.
Product features
- 100% polyester — strong, shape-retaining, quick-drying fabric
- Lightweight with a silky finish for comfortable movement
- Adjustable neck strap with black buckle for a secure fit
- Two spacious front pockets for utensils and small tools
- Black or white strap color and long waist ties for customizable styling
Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not tumble dry
- Do not bleach
- Hand wash
| Shipping | This item ships to |
| Delivery | Estimated between and . Will usually ship within 1 business day. |
Description
The Vibe: Because the only thing getting roasted in this kitchen is the chicken—not your body. This is for the woman who realized her "weight problem" was actually just 180 lbs of toxic ex-boyfriend.
Description: They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but you’re a little busy reclaiming your peace of mind to care about his dinner. If your ex spent more time checking his own ego than checking your calorie count, this apron is your new uniform.
It’s designed for the chef who’s done biting her tongue and is ready to start biting back. Whether you're whipping up a feast for one or hosting a "He’s Finally Gone" party, this apron protects your clothes from grease and your life from unsolicited opinions. It’s durable, it’s bold, and unlike your past relationship, it actually knows how to handle the heat without becoming toxic.
-
The Design: "CALL ME FAT AGAIN AND I'LL EAT YOU" emblazoned across the chest in high-def, "don't-test-me" typography. It features our signature red underline—because some boundaries should be drawn in permanent ink.
-
The Fit: Adjustable neck strap, because the only thing you’re tightening these days is your circle of friends.
-
The Fabric: Thick, spill-proof canvas. It’s great for warding off pasta sauce, wine splashes, and any lingering feelings of self-doubt.
-
Storage: Two deep pockets—one for your cooking utensils, and one for the phone you use to ignore his "I’ve changed" texts.
-
Warning: Wearing this may result in perfectly seasoned food and a complete inability to care about what a mediocre man thinks of your waistline.
Product features
- 100% polyester — strong, shape-retaining, quick-drying fabric
- Lightweight with a silky finish for comfortable movement
- Adjustable neck strap with black buckle for a secure fit
- Two spacious front pockets for utensils and small tools
- Black or white strap color and long waist ties for customizable styling
Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not tumble dry
- Do not bleach
- Hand wash
Shipping
| Shipping | This item ships to |
| Delivery | Estimated between and . Will usually ship within 1 business day. |
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