{"title":"Dramatic Dining","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"the-cup-of-coffee-cup-of-bullsh-t-ceramic-mug","title":"The \"Cup of Coffee \u003e Cup of Bullsh*t\" Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThe Vibe:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Because you can’t deal with the morning co-parenting texts until the caffeine hits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eDescription:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Your ex is calling. The lawyer is emailing. The kids are asking where their left shoe is. Life is a lot, but your beverage shouldn't be.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eAvailable in \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e\"Clean Slate White\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e this mug is designed to hold 11 ounces of liquid sanity. We’ve traded the gaslighting for caffeine and the drama for decaf (just kidding, we need the high-octane stuff for this life). It’s the perfect desk companion for when you're building your empire and deleting those \"I've changed\" paragraphs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul style=\"margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;\"\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eHandle:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Just one. Because having two handles on a mug is as confusing as your ex’s logic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eMicrowave Safe:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Because let's face it, you're going to have to reheat this three times before you actually get to drink it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eWarning:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Does not contain actual patience. That sold out years ago.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan id=\"docs-internal-guid-6a5db37b-7fff-db0a-d42a-747f7877fa71\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Microwave-safe for easy reheating\u003cbr\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for low-maintenance care\u003cbr\u003e- Vibrant, long-lasting color printing\u003cbr\u003e- Glossy white ceramic with comfortable C-handle\u003cbr\u003e- Available in 11oz and 15oz; lead- and BPA-free\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":42387019300946,"sku":"17223581420354557526","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0562\/3296\/8274\/files\/20260426203012-1f141aeb-9daf-61d2-bc48-761ae30f706b.png?v=1777642940"},{"product_id":"the-bon-appetit-loser-apron","title":"The \"Bon Appétit, Loser\" Apron","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThe Vibe:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Because the only thing getting roasted in this kitchen is the chicken—not your body. This is for the woman who realized her \"weight problem\" was actually just 180 lbs of toxic ex-boyfriend.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eDescription:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but you’re a little busy reclaiming your peace of mind to care about his dinner. If your ex spent more time checking his own ego than checking your calorie count, this apron is your new uniform.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eIt’s designed for the chef who’s done biting her tongue and is ready to start biting back. Whether you're whipping up a feast for one or hosting a \"He’s Finally Gone\" party, this apron protects your clothes from grease and your life from unsolicited opinions. It’s durable, it’s bold, and unlike your past relationship, it actually knows how to handle the heat without becoming toxic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul style=\"margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;\"\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThe Design:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e \"CALL ME FAT AGAIN AND I'LL EAT YOU\" emblazoned across the chest in high-def, \"don't-test-me\" typography. It features our signature red underline—because some boundaries should be drawn in permanent ink.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThe Fit:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Adjustable neck strap, because the only thing you’re tightening these days is your circle of friends.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eThe Fabric:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Thick, spill-proof canvas. It’s great for warding off pasta sauce, wine splashes, and any lingering feelings of self-doubt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eStorage:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Two deep pockets—one for your cooking utensils, and one for the phone you use to ignore his \"I’ve changed\" texts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" style=\"list-style-type: disc; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 12pt;\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003eWarning:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003e Wearing this may result in perfectly seasoned food and a complete inability to care about what a mediocre man thinks of your waistline.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan id=\"docs-internal-guid-d608ab08-7fff-bbbc-1f62-df1095e60e8c\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% polyester — strong, shape-retaining, quick-drying fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Lightweight with a silky finish for comfortable movement\u003cbr\u003e- Adjustable neck strap with black buckle for a secure fit\u003cbr\u003e- Two spacious front pockets for utensils and small tools\u003cbr\u003e- Black or white strap color and long waist ties for customizable styling\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not tumble dry\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Hand wash\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":42387019399250,"sku":"18014430280950479975","price":30.6,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":42387019432018,"sku":"26247766418635292560","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0562\/3296\/8274\/files\/20260425001428-1f1403bb-9862-64f0-b738-8edbe0752a37.png?v=1777642944"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0562\/3296\/8274\/collections\/20260425001428-1f1403bb-9862-64f0-b738-8edbe0752a37.png?v=1777645208","url":"https:\/\/www.crazyexproducts.com\/collections\/kitchen.oembed","provider":"My Ex is Crazy","version":"1.0","type":"link"}